Trapped In A Loveless Marriage

A recent statistic confirms as many as one in five have admitted in a recent poll of 2,000 adults to feeling trapped and that they would end their marriage if they could do so without jeopardising their financial security. As many as 15% would want to turn the clock back and marry someone else!

The majority of men said to be unhappy blamed their sex life, or rather lack of it. The women questioned on the other hand felt they had too many financial worries and not enough fun.

In my own experience as a divorce lawyer dealing with divorces over eighteen years, I found that once people faced up to the situation and undertook the short term upheaval over a few weeks and months, they quickly found themselves on the other side feeling happy and free of shackles of depression.

Many people delay taking the often inevitability of this move. This can be because of the children or the potential of undermining their financial security because one party is a significant or only breadwinner. However, an experienced specialist family law solicitor will often be able to quickly allay fears, such as regards the house having to be sold with young children, how they might be supported or as regards rights to maintenance as well as child support.

It has been my experience that a fear of financial uncertainty is what traps a lot of women within an unhappy marriage. However, they, in turn, I have found from my own experience, have felt the most liberated after the process!

The majority of men feel guilty about breaking up the family home and their children. However,  after making the decision to separate, discover that once any issue of the children's home has been explained to them and routine built up around the children's right for regular contact with them. the way forward is clearer. If there can be flexibility between separating couples regarding child care then the children will not become embroiled in the financial turmoil of a separation. Often, wives find the children get more quality time with their father as there is a routine and activities planned so their presence is not take for granted. We all know ourselves that coming home from work or at weekends, there is often complacency regarding the children just, "being there”.

Another major concern amongst men is a fear of being alone in the future. This is also a feature for women, particularly where there are young children. However, times have moved on and with the power of the Internet and its facility, there appears to be greater opportunity to meet new partners who are more properly matched.